Day before the storm...

Let me talk through this. The last tiem I wrote consecutively on Multiply was probably in February and March where I was doing a lot of praying about a major decision. When I came back from NY, I went with the decision, and my life is what you see it is today. My point is that I'm thinking that I need this a lot more than I think I did. Being able to write, to vent, to just open up completely to no one in particular online may be one thing that keeps me from falling apart. It helps me to calm down, keep emotions in check, and have proper retrospect so that I can put wisdom into practice.
So here we go. I'm going to be pushing myself really hard spiritually this month, starting tomorrow. I did a soft version of it today. I started off waking up early and reading a Psalm to ponder on as I walked to do ministry at Messiah. Once I got here, I sat down, prayed, read a devotional, and prayed some more. I then opened up my Bible and read a little bit of Timothy to think about some more. I finally listened to a sermon online for me to learn and get soem feeding from too.
It does feel like air after you've been drowning (which reminds me of how it was such a shock during the retreat when I dove in the pool and couldn't feel the bottom). But its' like that first breath you take from being submerged in a pool. You gasp for air, get air, but it's not as comforting as it should be. Mainly because my body has to throw out all that water and begin filling up with the right amount of air. Of course in the Christian life, there is no maximum amount of God. You just keep filling yourself and filling yourself. It was a good start today. This whole month is about reconnecting with God, finding that first love again, and defining who I am by who I am in Christ - not about what I've done and not about what ministries I'm involved in. It's gonig to stretch me a lot. I just know it.
So the goal tomorrow is to actually begin writing out what I've learned spiritually. Today, though, I learned that being salt means we have to affect the world around us. What's funny is that elder Dan Cura shared a devo about it a mere hour after I read it. It's like being the salt of the earth means that we have to affect that around us. Salt has no option. We have to choose to be salt and begin changing the world around us for Christ - flavoring that world and those people. If we get persecuted, even by those close to us, we should still nto stop because it is denying who we are - the salt of the earth and the light of the world.
There you go. That's today's little thought. Tomrorow should be a little more interesting. I'm going to miss a lot of people this month. But it's something that has to get done.

Standing for God,
Mark

watching a movie by myself

So it seems I'm giong to end up watching two really big movies by msyelf. Yeah, it's been awhile since I've done that. I think the last time I watched a movie by myself was Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix at Podium. Whatever. I'm going to watch Prince Caspian in an hour or so and then I might just walk into Hulk. Who knows? No one I know has the time to watch or no money. Ah, the plight of being a working person - only free when others aren't and always have money to spend. Isn't that what happens? Yup. It is.
So what happens when you watch movies by yourself?

Pros:
You get to rate the movie yourself and not get sucked into bad comments of your seatmate.
You get to sit anywhere in the theater
You get to analyze things on your own
You can walk out if it's a really bad film
You can pretend its your living room
No need to worry about getting everyone seated together
No need to worry that your friend has a bad seat
No need to worry that one of your friends didn't get to sit beside their crush
No need to worry about siting next to your crush
No need to worry about sharing popcorn

Cons:
You're alone, by yourself, with no body to cheer with or point to the screen and say "WOAH!!!"

Why am I watching by msyelf? Because I waited last time to find a group of people to watch I Am Legend with and couldn't find anyone cause everybody watched it na. Missed out on Speed Racer too. So there. I think it'll be good "Mark Time". Sigh. How sad. Ugh, this post was supposed to make me feel happy about watching a movie by myself, but I guess it backfired. Hmmmm...and of course my stupid phone. It apparently has stopped wanting to send texts unless I take the battery out muna and it also receives texts three or four hours late. Ay naku. I miss Aliza. I could call that girl up and just say "Hey, want to watch a movie?" and she'd say yes and we'd just go watch a movie. It's what we would do. It didn't matter what the movie was. One time we ate a dozen donuts together in teh theater during Happy Feet. So whatever. I really want to enjoy these movies and if I have to do it by myself then so be it.

Just some random thuoghts as usual

Wow, its' been forever since I've written on this blog. Just finished reading a coupe of people's blogs and it made me wonder why I don't write as muhc? I really should. Last night's Bible study was really good. Well, it was more of a prayer time. No time for Bible study cause we started really late. But we really had a good prayer time. I'm happy with what God did and has done through the regular meeting. I hope that it can continue on regardless of school.
So if any of you want, I mean, sure, you're all welcome to come. We have Wednesday Bible Study at 7:30pm at BMO2. I really think it has the possibility to grow, but we need people.
I just have been thinking about my spiritual life lately. I really want to and try to seek God each day, to experience Him. But do I? No, cause to be honest, I' not truly seeking all the time. There is that whole game we play of I hope I experience God today and get freaked out when we get close to experiencing Him and running away again. It's like a drug addict who is on the way to rehab. We want to break free, but once we see the hospital or rather, once the rehab center calls us, we don't pick up cause we're afraid of finally being free.
It's like bieng in a zoo. Think of this. There are animals who live their entire lives in zoos. They don't know what is outside. There is that innate feeling in all of them that there is something more, that this 'real' is not really reality. And then one day a man comes and asks us if we want to be free. Some animals say, "No, I like it here. I get to be lazy and ignore that the world outside exists. One day I will die here in this little cage, but so what? At least I got to enjoy myself." Sad. Never get to experience what they were made for. Other animals say, sure, open the gates. The man breaks the locks, looks at the animal and says, "You're free. Just follow me."
"What? We're free? Just like that? There must be a guy with a gun outside ready to shoot us!"
"No," the man says, "Just follow me. I'll show you the way to be free of these cages and this prison."
The animals begin following. Others laugh at them or tell them that they are being deceived as they walk by. The animals that are following the man get worried. "What if they are right?" This is when some animals get scared and run back to theri cages. The door is completely open. They can leave. But they are afraid to. The man helps the other animals to freedom, then he comes back and calls to the other animals that ran back to their cages. "Come, follow me, and I'll give you freedom."
"No, it's alright. I have freedom here. This is freedom, being able to do what I want. Folllowing you is not freedom."
"Tha'ts right," the other caged animals say, "I heard about these so called free animals. They live in what is called a circus. They dance and have to dress a certain way and are weird."
The man looks at the one animal hiding in teh open cage. "What do they know? They don't know me. You know me. You saw that I set you free. Follow me and you'll truly find salvation."
The animal stops looking at the man and soon can only hear his voice. The animal keeps hearing him and even covers his ears . Soon, he gets so annoyed at the man who keeps trying to set him free that he slams teh cage shut and says that he wants nothing to do wtih this man who granted him freedom. The man then stands there, staring at the cage, and taps on it softly and calls the animal by his true name. The animal fights and goes crazy, in hopes to scare the man. But he still sits there. Waiting. "Come to me," the man says. He even begins bringing the animal food and drink that tastes better than anything the animal ever tasted. Yet the animal stays in the cage.
"You put me here! You built these cages!" the animal says annoyed, trying to figure the man out. "It's too good to be true."
He sees some other animals come back from outside and tell the others animals in the cages that the man has set them all free and all they need to do is follow Him. He is good, tehy say.
"No!" they scream back. "You're different. I know animals like you."
Some other animals call out from theri cages, "I used to be like them, but now I came back here because I found out there was no freedom. Those hallways are an endless labyrinth. There is this clown that comes by with a big smile who says he's going to give us nicer cages, cages with tvs and other animals. I even heard of this one zoo where we get as many female animals as we want. We can do wahtever. Its freedom! We shoudl follow what the clown says and stay in these cages cause they are going ot be upgraded if we stay."
Despite all the mockery and the foolishness and the lies and the anger of that one animal, the man still stands at the cage door and knocks. "Follow me," he says. "You don't have to be here. These cages have no power over you anymore."

Think about that. That was written just now, no thoughts prior. I like it. It's a nice little start. Think about it. May you have a wonderful day!